Al-Anon is a great resource, but just like AA is not a good fit for everyone, couples need options in the ways they find help recovering their marriages from alcoholism. I’ve found statistics that indicate a 20% increase in divorce rate for couples dealing with alcoholism in the marriage. The overall divorce rate in the United States is roughly 50%, and it makes sense that addiction to alcohol adds significant challenges for couples to overcome in order to stay together. A therapist can help you learn more about the role you may have played in a codependent relationship and learn healthier patterns. There are over 40 million people in the U.S. alone living with substance use disorder. And many of those individuals have partners or spouses.

Why You Get Sugar Cravings After Quitting Alcohol

Look for signs of genuine commitment, such as attending therapy, participating in support groups, and making lifestyle changes. At the same time, don’t give up hope—if both of you are truly committed to saving your marriage, building a new and healthy relationship is possible. The recovering addict needs to focus on sobriety and may not always be able to prioritize the relationship, and his or her spouse must understand this. Of course, the addict’s ability to maintain sobriety will be essential to your ability to maintain the marriage as well. Trust is a fundamental part of every relationship, and it often takes a big hit during periods of substance use.

DON’T TAKE IT PERSONALLY

Studies show that couples therapy can effectively help couples in distress. It can affect communication and relationship satisfaction, which is essential for recovery. One of the biggest challenges of having a spouse who is not sober is that you may feel like you’re always walking on eggshells. It can be hard to relax and enjoy your life when you’re constantly worried about what your spouse is doing or whether they will make it home safe. Trust becomes a major issue, and it can be difficult to feel like you have a partner you can rely on.

Addiction Destroys Dreams, We Can Help

However, some people may have difficulty verbalizing their concerns. Alcoholism destroys trust, intimacy and our ability to forgive. It leaves the collateral damage of resentment and the spouse’s defence mechanisms in its wake, and enough pain to last a lifetime. When I stopped drinking, I told Sheri I got sober for her. I thought she was selfish because she wasn’t instantly grateful and loving.

• It also increases irrational actions, including domestic abuse.
• In the movie, Sandra Bullock plays Gwen, an alcoholic who is given the choice between jail and rehab.
• At the same time, don’t give up hope—if both of you are truly committed to saving your marriage, building a new and healthy relationship is possible.

Trust is linked with intimacy, so understand that your spouse may need time to rebuild the sexual part of your marriage as well. Living with an alcoholic spouse can be draining and frustrating. It’s important to understand that alcoholism is a disease, and your spouse may have underlying issues that trigger the cravings for alcohol. Open communication is essential for accountability, which is very important in helping your partner be sober. Aside from discussing your loved one’s journey to recovery, having small talks and enjoyable conversation is also a part of building trust and connection.

Recovery Treatment Available at Gateway

But stable and loving relationships are possible with someone who’s in recovery. This cycle can be hard to break, but it is possible with the right recovery strategy for you and your partner. In addition, you can visit The National Coalition marriage after sobriety Against Domestic Violence (NCADV), a domestic violence prevention advocacy group with a list of resources for relationship abuse help. Without honest communication, both people can end up feeling misunderstood and mistreated, she adds.

Go to Marriage Counseling for Addiction

The movie stars James Woods as Bill Wilson, or “Bill W.” as he is known to anyone who has been in Alcoholics Anonymous. Wilson is one of the two founders of AA, along with “Dr. Bob” who is played by James Garner. It’s an inspiring look at the most ubiquitous sobriety program in the world. If you need a calm, peaceful place to work through the 12 steps, contact Myrtle Beach Recovery for information on our residential recovery programs. You may want to agree to a system that will help you rebuild trust, like promising to always call your spouse if you’ll be home late.